I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
