i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize