You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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