well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
