a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
