I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
