I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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