apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
