I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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