Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
