i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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