My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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