It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
