it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
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