i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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