You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
