why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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