he thought i was a dude.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
