Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize