yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
