she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
