ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
