he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
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There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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