All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
