dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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