i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
