This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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