I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she smelled like a LAN party
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
this just has baby written all over it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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