you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
