Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
