sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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