I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
