i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
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My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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