I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
