There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
