oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
