It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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