She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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