thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
