dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
