It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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