I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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