The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
