i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
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I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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