this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
