Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
