Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
