Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
