Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
