he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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