he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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