her vagine was all disorganized.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
sarcasm needs its own font
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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