eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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