remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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