ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
