stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
