He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
