Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The air was thick with penises
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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