I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
